High-Achieving Women's Blogazine

It’s one thing to hear something, it another to listen for something. So many people miss many opportunities because they fail to listen — all they do is just hear. Calvin Coolidge once said, “No man ever listened himself out of a job.” But, I am sure that you certainly know people who have talked themselves out of work and those who have missed opportunities and left money on the table because they weren’t listening closely enough. Below are the Top 5 Tips for Listening Well that will help you refine your listening skills.

Tip #1: Be Prepared

Be mentally and physically ready to listen. You can prep yourself by reading appropriate material and doing the research before a meeting. Don’t show up only to find yourself lost after the first five minutes and then scrambling mentally to catch up or even worst — just zone out.

A great athlete doesn’t become a great athlete on game day; he prepares himself to be ready for a great performance on game day. You may have thought being a truly good listener was going to be easier than this. Well there are not short cuts.

Tip #2: Shut Up

Did you know that you are a far more effective listener when you’re not talking? Sure, it’s important to speak up, but remaining silent the majority of the time can put an exclamation point on the things you do say.

Tip #3: The Focus Factor

This is the most obvious — and the most abused rule when it comes to listening. It is important to be in the moment. Put other thoughts out of your mind. You can feel when people aren’t truly listening to you and you know when they are. Make sure whoever is speaking feels you are really listening.

Focus on what people are saying, and don’t let yourself get stuck on any one point. Don’t try to answer your question in your own mind while the person is still speaking. If you have to, make a note on a piece of paper about a question regarding what’s been said, but don’t let it distract you from listening to the rest of the conversation.

Tip #4: Practice Walking a Mile in Someone Else’s Shoes

You may dislike your coworker, but to be a good listener, you must always listen with empathy. It’s easy to let your mind chew on a point of disagreement if you hear something that bothers you — or if you just don’t like the person who’s speaking — but you’ll miss what’s being said.

Start by trying to see the world through the speaker’s eyes. Think of it as a practice run for when you’re in discussions with people you like and respect.

Tip #5: Ask and You Shall Receive

Reporters often say their jobs require them to be experts for a day depending on the story — one day an expert in business and the next an expert in politics. The truth is — their main expertise is asking insightful questions. And it’s the same for successful listeners. Like a reporter, you must learn to put people at ease and ask questions that elicit revealing responses.

Which of the Top 5 Tips for Listening Well resonates with you the most?  Be sure to leave a comment below! Also what other information would you add to the Top 5 Tips for Listening Well?

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© 2011 Dr. Laureen Wishom

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